Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Non-interbike Vegas Adventures

One word, well two, The Pixies. Quite possibly the most un-douchey place in Vegas on a Saturday night. I was very comfortable in my surroundings, but I will admit we sat in the balcony. You see I am getting older and the crowds tend to get me unnerved, and I suffer from a wee bit of anger issues. Yes I am guilty of clocking a drunk hooch with my elbow at a Mason Jennings concert. Mason's Midwestern crooning sent me into a fit of rage I guess. So the Pixies were a very good night for me. Sorry to my hubby though, I owe him a Slipknot or Godsmack concert. Take two vicadin and a shot of Nyquil and throw me over your shoulder when it's over. Just kidding I would suffer just like he did, whoops, not suffer, enjoy him enjoying the show like he did me.
Oooh, the Hoochie Beacon

Throughout Vegas there is a breed of creature that roams in packs. You can find them up and down the strip and in most casinos. They are female but they are on average over 6 feet tall, due to their 8 inch heels they wobble about on. They have a similar odor that becomes stronger as the night wears on. It's a mix of Vodka and a pint of perfume. Toward the morning this smell turns into one of two. Vomit is one and, well, if it's not vomit that means she got lucky and that's a whole other story.

Like I said, I'm not the Vegas type, I wanted to run for the hills, literally. Look at this cake topper for instance, I guess this would be classy enough for the typical Vegas wedding cake since their Mamas and Pops couldn't get someone to cover for them at the Piggly Wiggly.

Thank God our hotel had a place where I could escape the hoochies and douchey frat boys. I tell myself every time I leave that I'm going to read my Poker for Idiots book so I'll have something worthwhile to do and invest my money more wisely. Instead of wasting it on slot machines, DAMN you Sex in the City machines! Let's just say I lost enough money to buy a Rapha jersey and a pair of bib shorts, and quite possibly a hat. But I have to say the time spent with family and my loved one was priceless.

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