Saturday, June 29, 2013

Allez Bitches!

Its Tour time! 
First stage of the 2013 Tour de France has just finished up and it was textbook chaosity during the last 15 minutes. But before all the crashes, both human and RV, I had a few observations. Yes it's time for:

The Crusty Little Curmudgeon!
I like to complain, sometimes it's about important issues, but 98.06% of the time it's superficial crap.
 For example:

FDJ's new kit. Where is the classic, clean white kit. It was so French, so beautiful, so fun to watch when it rains. Now it seems like the entire peloton is some shade of blue or green. Garmin-Sharp is exempt from this claim because, well,  they're just the best and they have argyle on their kits. Fire your design team. Next!

Team Rabobank  Team Blanco
Team Belkin!
Nope, wrong color green, already have 2 green teams in the peloton and they are proper greens and at opposite sides of the green spectrum. Cannondale, Europcar congratulations you've escaped the wrath of the CLC. Team Belkin, just because you have black on half of your kit doesn't mean you're being original. Make it striped, use blocks of color, anything. Fire your design team. Next!

Mama Mia! Team Radio Shack/Trek. They've never been my favorite team* and this is just solidifying my hatred. Actually hate is a strong word, disgust is a better word. I would of loved to have been in the boardroom when they unveiled the new color of their 2013 TdF Mondane, Domane, whatever that bike's called it's bicycle plagiarism. It's a Bianchi! I don't care if it's a shade or two lighter, its celeste! When I see it on my TV/computer screen I see Bianchi. Fire your design team. Next!

Actually I can't be mad at this, I feel sorry for the Orica bus driver, it wasn't his fault. It was the organizers fault for not taking into consideration that most team buses are now megabuses and need at least 36 feet of clearance. It made for a nail biting finish but I believe it might of contributed to the final crash that took out Cav and Sagan. Too much confusion on the radio in the final km's leads to a lack of concentration. So there you have it, the CLC is tired from her first rant of the TdF. 
I need a glass of rosé.

I am happy to report that this photo happened. When I first saw these names on the back of Cannondales kits during I thought it was their nicknames, then the fog cleared from my brain and I realized it was Fizik's clever 'which animal are you?' saddle marketing scheme. Smart. I think they need a manatee because that's what I feel like most of the time. Just kind of plopped down there on my saddle. But good on ya Sagan, keep up the grab ass, mommy likey. That sounded really sick, sorry.

And now for the 
Official FreeBird Velo's pick O' le Tour:

Allez Andy!
Which means he's going to loose because I just jinxed him. Sorry.
Should of picked Froomey.

*I mentioned before I despise TRS, actually despise is a strong word, hate is a better one. But I like Andy and I like Fabian, I'm just not a fan of the team, or should I say, not a fan of it's previous DS and 
certain former members. 

I know you have many choices when choosing lame-ass blogs to read, but THANK YOU for reading this one. Make sure and visit the FreeBird Velo gift shop on your way out.