Saturday, July 5, 2014

Ya Shoulda Took Wiggo!!



Oh Wiggo, it's just the first stage of the Tour de France and we miss you already.
I've kept this bottled up long enough but I have to let you all know,
I don't really like Team SKY.

I am glad I got to see him at the Tour of California, and I'm
sure he appreciated me yelling "GO WIGGO!!" directly at his ear from
10 inches away. 


I mean, how cool is this, Wiggo and his son at the end of the Tour in 2012.
#CapsNotHats


This is just too much! Flanked by Beckham and a royal.

Okay, I'm going to say this once and I will never say another word.
Team SKY is retarded, Wiggins said he would work for Froome, no problem.
Wiggins is fit, he won the Tour of CA, got top 10 at Roubaix, and just won the national TT title. 
He's a huge British cycling figure, the Tour starts in the UK, 
SKY is a British team, Rapha is a British company. It just doesn't make sense.
With all this anger bubbling around I had to do what I always do, make a tee:

Get your angry Wiggo tee here!

Monday, May 19, 2014

ATOC Stage 6 Pics Part Deux

Well, here's the rest of the pictures from Stage 6, 
Amgen Tour of California.
Enjoy!


King and Queen of the Mountain.


Taylor P.


So Pro Tan Lines.



Petey Sagan and Mr. I Am Ted King leading the grupetto up the final climb. 2 more kms boys.




Leftovers. I just liked the fact that the Giant rider is smiling for the camera.


Day is done for some.




Souvenir from...I believe Christian Knees? I could be wrong, just saw the German arm bands.
Danke!


Teams coming back down the climb, packing up and getting ready for trip back to
lovely downtown Santa Clarita.


Too many things make me angry when looking at these, but I still love em;
1. the Belkin/Bianchi color scheme is a NO! Should be matte black with the Bianchi logos,
 and tiny hints of Belkin green.
2. ShimaNO on a Bianchi!? Mamma mia, it make'a me so sad. 


Au Revoir ATOC, until next year!

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Pictures From the Side of a Mountain, Part One

Skratch Labs setting up shop a little less than 1 km from the finish.

The Amgen Tour of California made it's way to within a half hour of my home, so of course I had to go spectate, and take in the sights and sounds that are professional bike racing.
This is part one of my pictorial journey up and down the final 2 km climb of Stage 6


Stage six started in Santa Clarita, home of Magic Mountain (were LA gangsters go to ride roller coasters), and ends up at Table Mountain, sitting a bit above Mountain High ski resort at around 7,000 ft elevation, give or take a 1,000 feet. To get to this elevation, you apparently need to pass through some of the most ugly parts of Southern California. I do believe the first 3/4's of the race was used in the movie, The Hills Have Eyes. All I'm saying is, if the ATOC is trying to promote California tourism, stay away from the desert regions, no one wants to see ghetto desert. I can say this because I'm a California native.



One reason I made my way up the mountain, to the horror of my sinuses, 
was to see Sir Bradley Wiggins. 
I like Wiggo, he's moody, but not moody in a Cadel Evans sort of way.








True story, I saw John Prolly at Ten Speed Coffee and didn't tell him how much I enjoy and appreciate his website, The Radavist. I believe it was The Smith's who said: 
"Shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you, from doing all the things in life you'd like to." 
On a side note, Ten Speed Coffee whips up an amazing iced Coffee. 
Kept me zipping about the hill all afternoon.


Go home clowns, you're drunk.


It wouldn't be a Tour of California for me without a picture of Thor Hushvod.

To Be Continued...

Thursday, April 3, 2014

They're Back!!






Yep, the ALLEZ BITCHES!! socks are back and now with a bit more class.
I personally am not a fan of black socks, but these have stole my heart. 
I'm realizing that black socks hide; 
dirt, embro, blood, chocolate flavored GU, and rogue snot rockets

Get yours on the FreeBird Velo shop


Also new to the FreeBird Velo shop is the new Cobbled Maurice tee.
Just in time for Classics. I couldn't get over to Belgium  
so I sent Maurice. I asked him to just pass out some stickers but he must
of had one too many Chimays because he found some poster board and pulled a
DIRK HOFFMAN MOTORHOMES
Good job Maurice.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Au Revoir #TINAR 1000



If the TINAR 1000 Challenge is finished, why do I feel so sad? 
It's February 6 and I haven't ridden a bike since January 31 and there's no reason. 
I'm not sick, injured, buried by work, or been abducted by illegal aliens. 
"Hell, I want to ride woman"
at least that's what body is saying, my mind is saying "f**k it, go tomorrow." 
My mind's been saying that since February 1.


Final stats from TINAR 1000:

Total Kilometres: 661.77
Total Elevation Gain: 32,652 ft
Total Days Ridden: 23
Total Calories Burnt: 11,878
Total Hours on Bike: 33:10


I started out the TINAR 1000 half-assed and I finished it half-assed.
But the middle part was pretty good. 
To start with, I was finishing up a cold at the beginning of the month, 
so those early rides averaged sub 20 miles. 
As the weeks passed every ride got a little longer, every ride I felt a little stronger. 
That is until the last week, and I'm taking full responsibility for that lackluster finish. 
But before the bad I want to point out some of the good:

-I got a STRAVA QOM for going 1.4 miles downhill.
(that's pretty damn funny because I descend like a feather)

- My legs got some muscle tone and I got a bit of a tan.
(although no one's gonna mistake me for an Italian) 

-My diet improved 
(for the most part)

-My love of cycling increased, 
(it's now bordering on clinical obsession)

-This is the most miles I've ridden in January, 
the weather kind of helped though,
average temps were around 78 degrees.
I love Summer Embro.

-Most important thing I gained from this challenge was
actually feeling healthy. My body functioned the way
I always knew it could, but now after a week without 
riding I'm a complete disaster. 


I made some mistakes, I knew they were wrong yet I still did them.
Will I learn from them? Probably not, but I fully intend to try.

Here ya go, learn from em:

- A challenge like this is not good for procrastinators.
I learned not to wait till the last week to ride 250 miles.


- I didn't fuel properly while on rides.
When it came to water and food intake I was terrible.
You are not supposed to have any liquid left in your
bottle after a 3 hour ride.

- I didn't refuel properly after most rides.
   It wasn't the quality, it was the quantity.
Who am I kidding, it was quality.
Note to self: smoothies are always the way to go.

-  I needed to take care of my bike and my body (legs).
I think I washed and lubed my bike once the entire month.
I also didn't stretch at all, and my idea of massage was putting
on lotion. They both put in a lot of work, they deserved better.



While out riding I had a lot of hours to be alone with my thoughts.
One of these was realizing how much I love my quads. I like to watch them
involuntarily move outwards as I take a corner or just watch them pedal away
without me asking them to. In fact, I love them so much I named them:
The left one is Gino and the right one is Fausto.
I promised them that we'd make plans to get back to the gym next month.
And yes I have conversations
with body parts, my bike, or random animals that may cross my path.


As I was riding my final day I had the strangest feeling. I knew I was nowhere
near my goal, but I wasn't upset about it. I got kitted up, clicked in
and pressed the RIDE button on my Garmin. As soon as I crested the top
of our street, right before I make my usual left turn, it hit me:
I felt empty, but not in a depressing way. 
My ride that last day can only be described as rotational meditation.
My mind was clear. No thoughts or worries came zipping through. 
 I heard the birds, I saw the clouds, and I heard my dirty chain turning over,
but nothing would stick in my mind. I felt pleasantly stupid.
As I write this it's becoming clear to me what I experienced that final day:

 enlightenment

Well, maybe not fully enlightened, but as enlightened as
I've ever been in my thirty some years on this planet.
I may have failed at meeting my goal but
I definitely feel like I gained something this month.
I'm looking forward to this coming year.
I have more challenges in store,
it seems to be the only way I can anything done.


Saturday, January 18, 2014

#TINAR1000 State of the Union


In case you didn't hear, or read, or see on Instagram or Twitter, I have
embarked on a simple challenge for the month of January.
It's not a resolution, I hate that word. I believe gyms and the diet industry
have taken it over and made it their own. To them the word resolution = $$$
Do I get a little too riled up about it, yes, but you should see me 
when I get going on the greeting card business and all their pseudo holidays.
Okay, so I devised a simple goal for the month of January. A way to kick off the year,
a way to give my sad little legs some much needed miles and 
some much needed muscle tone. Let's just say last year was less than stellar for them.


Here's a brief rundown of what I've put in 
since January 16:

Kilometers: 392.0
Miles: 243.6
Elevation gain: 19,399 feet


As you can tell, I may have gotten myself into a pretty big hole.
(that's what he said)
It's the 18th as I write this and I still have a long way to ride. 
Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator. 
Let's just say, I'm going to be doing some rides that may 
end with me in a fetal position crying for my mommy 
sucking on an empty salted caramel GU packet.


My legs are doing work and I want to treat them right,
so I'm making sure they know how much I appreciate them.
As you can see in the picture above I've succumb to the sweet smell 
only Rapha can create. Yes I'm using summer embro,
it's January in the Northern Hemisphere but Southern California has been averaging 
80 degrees F the whole month of January. Using this embro gives me a chance to 
warm up my legs before leaving the house. It also gives them a nice sheen, 
gives me some added color, and makes them smell like I've been romping through a 
Mediterranean forest. I've also been using Rapha's shave and post shave lotion. 
I don't know if it helps my legs any. It's supposed to smell like Mont Ventoux.
I like to imagine I'm channeling all the great riders over 
the years that have conquered that climb.
I basically have a seance in my bathroom every time I shave my legs.


So there you have it, I'm not exactly killing it, but I'm not epically failing either.
The last couple weeks are going to have some fun with me, let's hope the weather holds up,
or more importantly, let's hope my legs hold up. I like a bit of challenge in my challenges.
If you're doing your own challenge I hope you're doing as well or better than me. 
Let's see some more photos. 
Remember, share your Instagram and Twitter pics with the hashtag 

#tinar1000 

All decent submissions will get a TINAR sticker or something useful.







Thursday, January 2, 2014

Happy New Year! Now here's a Monkey.



It's a new year and with that brings new hope that I can
publish (at least) more than three blog entries a month.
As usual, I was sick during the month of December so my
riding slagged off, much like the rest of my year.
To counterbalance the lackluster year that was 2013
I've decided to start off 2014 in brilliant fashion.

I give to you:


THIS IS NOT A RESOLUTION 
1000KM CHALLENGE
(Not to be confused with the Festivus 500 Gumball Rally)
That's right folks, for the month of January rack up 1000km 
post pictures of your glorious (and not so glorious rides) on Instagram or Twitter 
using the hashtag:

#tinar1000

at the end of the month I will peruse the entries and then send out 
special limited edition TINAR 1000 stickers. Patches are too friggin expensive.



I was going to do this challenge on my own but I like the idea of having a way to share
my rides with others and have them share theirs. My theory is that hopefully I'll
get some motivation from you guys, if it's needed, who am I kidding? of course I need motivation! 
I just don't want any show-offs who ride the entire thing in one weekend. 
This challenge is for those who don't usually partake in Gentleman's
races and such. You know who you are.