Super Secret Wiggo Tee Offer

Get that boy a Double-Double or something,
he's gonna blow away.

So, the Tour's done, the Olympics are over, and Wiggo has lived up to the media's expectations. His Boy Wonder on the other hand didn't fair so well. Cavendish lost too much weight, didn't eat enough sugar, and lost his lead out train to Wiggo during the Tour.  Here's to next year Cav, good luck, and good luck finding a new team, uh...I mean lead out train.

Nice one Wiggo indeed.
 I don't think anyone's used 'bone-idleness' since Mr. Darcy
reprimanded Jane.   

Naughty Mr.Wiggins.

In honor of Bradley Wiggin's Olympic gold, and stellar media relations I give you the Wiggo 'C**t' or if you're polite and have kids the 'Bone-idleness' t-shirt. You have the choice of either, printed on a super soft 100% cotton tee. In case you forgot where these words came from, here ya go:

"They are just f***ing w*****s. I cannot be doing with people like that. It justifies their own bone-idleness because they can’t ever imagine applying themselves to anything in their lives. It’s easy for them to sit under a pseudonym on Twitter rather than get off their arses in their own life and apply themselves and work hard at something and achieve something, and that’s ultimately it. C***s!"

I'm guessing that w*****s stands for 'wankers' which I didn't think was that bad. In fact, I used to listen to a band called 'Guns n Wankers' back in the day and they seemed quite pleasant. In all honesty I think 'bone-idleness' sounds worse. And in case you thought Brad was just cranky and it was a one-time whoopsie you must of missed the camera man video.

Due to the naughtiness of these tees I'm not selling them on my Etsy shop, but if you are interested in getting your mitts on one of these you can contact me via Twitter at @freebirdvelo Just leave me a direct message and I will bill you via Paypal, plus you can also reach me by leaving me a message on the FreeBird Velo Etsy shop. Make sure and let me know which Brad you'd like and what size t-shirt you'll need. Tees cost $24 but include free shipping. What a bargain!

Suffering Season

Maurice Garin 

From Paris to the blue waves of the Mediterranean, from         Marseille to Bordeaux, passing along the roseate and dreaming roads sleeping under the sun, across the calm of the fields of the Vendée, following the Loire, which flows on still and silent,our men are going to race madly, unflaggingly.  

               
                                             Henri Desgrange

Can you be jealous of someone else's suffering. Not a suffering such as cancer or loss of a loved one. I'm talking about the suffering that takes place while doing something you love. Right now though I'm talking about the suffering that takes place atop a saddle. When I read/hear about someone heading to the hills and I'm stuck at home I'm terribly jealous.  I love that period of time where suffering becomes surreal. We create our own rotational meditation while sitting there. It's our brains way of not allowing us to go mad. Yes we're a sick, weird bunch and I feel right at home here. The leaders, heroes, domestiques, cheats of our clan are about to race, June 30 to be precise.

Yes our time of year is coming, I know the Classics are for the 'hard men', but really, do we need to argue? 21 days of racing 2,000 something miles, a history over a 100 years old. The victories, tragedies, deceit, brotherhood, not to mention the chiseled tan legs and dangling gold medallions and wedding bands, each one with a story. It's a fucking soap opera and I love it.

It seems my love of cycling does not ebb and flow, I'm pretty consistent. But I tend to get extremely passionate about cycling around this time of year and the only way to quell it is to create. Some of my creations are good, others seem to only appeal to me, and maybe that random rider with the quirky personality. And I appreciate that quirky rider so much because I know I'm not alone when it comes to the joy of having a cycling pigeon* screen printed across my chest. I hope you share this crazy passion for 2 wheels too, enjoy the season, hope your man wins.

If  you like the tee you see above you might like the FreeBird Shop. Tees, bags, paintings and quite possibly another cycling pigeon t-shirt might appear soon. 

*

I'm Still Here!

Hello there, in case you haven't noticed I've been pretty lax on my blog entries. Le Tour is coming up in a couple of weeks, I've been gearing up for that with daily Tour de France facts on twitter (@freebirdvelo). These facts are fresh from Nick Brownlee's book Vive le Tour. I'd pick it up if you have any love whatsoever for the biggest bike race in the world, lots of random good stuff to impress the folks at the bike shop. I've also been doing research for upcoming designs which leads to reading and watching cycling for hours on end but not ending up with much as a result and having to come up with excuses as to how I spent my day. Tortured artist as my Hubby would call me. So while you wait for some new designs have a look at my shop, I just might have something you like. I've got some new artwork in the works, french inspired t-shirt designs just in time for le Boucle (I hope), and just plain old velo-centric ramblings coming up right here. And by velo-centric ramblings I mean complaining about riders who win too much (ahem, Sagan) what, too French? Well, thanks for reading and come back soon… please! just kidding, come back if ya want, it would be nice though. 

Please enjoy Poppy's antics with her sea-shammy baby 

while I try and create something.

Sunday Morning Looky-Like

Quick Sunday morning looky-like for ya. I found this photo of a 1930 Tour de France crash victim and instantly thought of Laurens Ten Dam from this year's TdF. I actually had a lot to choose from this year. The bike's may get lighter and the gear may get tougher, but a crash is still a crash. The human body remains the same.

Until Next July

Cuddles Really Loves His Lion

The Tour is over and my life is slowly returning to normal. Tomorrow I'm going for a ride, and I'm a bit excited because I do believe I finally found a magic helmet to fit my teeny tiny head. I got a Lazer Genesis off Ebay from nonstopciclismo.com . Thumbs up for those guys, in stock, got it in 2 days, and they had a ton of decent gear. Check 'em out, this was not a paid advertisement, I just enjoy good service. Back to business. In this post I am just going to tell you what I thought made for good tour watchin.

Tommy's tongue, pre-yellow jersey, was quite the sight. I stick my tongue out when I'm concentrating on tasks at hand, I get it from my Mom. But never while riding, so I tried it this weekend. I was sprinting uphill toward the house with my hubby and decided to stick my tongue out. You know what, I won the sprint, only because hubby was laughing too hard. Said I looked like a fish out of water. Despite that I believe it brings in more oxygen, so I'm going to keep it in my arsenal.

Good job Cav, although I am a bit bummed he didn't cross the line with sparklers on his shoes and pulling a Superman across the finish line. He is definitely the best sprinter (with team assist) on the Tour and he deserves the green jersey. His interviews were more mature than in the past, I kind of miss those days.

Poor Schlecks, what happened? I knew when Cadel was staying along with them on the climbs that they had no chance. They need to gain a bit of weight and work on time trialling, go to the gym this winter, get some sort of leg muscles. That's my opinion, but you just wait until this winter, the media will show them working out in the gym and discussing TT tactics with Fabian while they all do thrust squats. Then you'll think back to this summer and say " hey, that Freebird Velo chick was right, holy shit!"

Jeremy Roy, what can you say about this guy. Announcers were throwing around the word 'PANACHE' a lot this tour, but he needs his picture in the dictionary next to the definition. It seemed like he was in every breakaway. He had no chance on the stage against Thor, believe me I tried to send him a mojo power boost using my mind powers it didn't work. The kid rode his heart out and it showed when he crossed the finish line, he looked like he was apologizing to the entire country of France.

We now come down to my team, Garmin-Cervelo. I made the call, they won TTT, Tyler finally won in France, Thor brought them yellow, and they won Team. Quite a tour indeed. But as you can tell from this rest day photo there might of been some separation between old Garmin riders and Thor. He was off at another table with non-riders. Apparently Jonathon Vaughters couldn't quite pay Thor all the money he promised him, especially after he won the World championship, prices go up with those stripes. I liked this team from the their conception, they were like the Bad News Bears of the cycling world. Just a bunch of quirky guys riding their bikes trying to win a stage. Thor never really fit in with them, he's too European, and they're too goofy. So we'll see what next year will bring them without Thor. By the way, they are not eating regulation size Chipoltle burritos in the photo, those are smaller than stateside burritos. I wish they were that size.

Cuddles Did It!

The Tour still has one more day left but I am already suffering from withdrawls. Oh, I'm so sad for Andy, but my official podium picks were correct, the little ol' crying koala bear did it so I'm sorry to say, no free t-shirts for those of you who read the Final Picks post. But you can still purchase Freebird Velo tees, see them here. Get 'em while there hot.

Cheeky cuddles, he knew the whole time

I will do my final Tour analysis (I couldn't write that without giggling, who am I to analyze?) in the next entry so keep an eye out. You might of read in earlier entries that I've been doing the Aquaphor Le Tour Challenge. Well I finally figured out how to read the standings and I am 61 out of 290 or something other female riders. One more day of riding to move up in standings but I don't see myself going anywhere near top ten. I blame that on my not entering the first 2 days of the tour and the two day absence because of traveling and because my Sunday entry was counted as Monday, which is a rest day. I'm not saying anything, but next year, it's on, my stomach is full of Gummi Bears, and I will seek my revenge.

On my ride this week I finally spotted the Mythical Peacock of Smiley Heights. I have spent two years riding through Smiley Heights hearing it caw, or whatever you want to call the sound they make, but I've never laid eyes on one, until this week. Strutting across someones front lawn. It's the little things on your ride that make them special to you. Whether it's spotting a random animal, cresting your local hill with some breath left to spare, or just riding for hours and finding yourself laughing at the end of your ride, even though you should be collapsed in a heap in the middle of your living room. I love riding, I hope you do too.

Thanks for looking

Predictions Thus Far

Join the Cuddle Army , buy a tee and spread the word

Oh my! little Old Lady Wilson knows her shit. If you you're wondering what I'm talking about take a peek at my last entry. Okay, I was off on the percentage of Spanish to French riders in the breakaways, and maybe about not having Cadel on the podium, we'll see, I hope I'm wrong. Go Cuddles!

I would put nothing but Gummi Bears and Vanilla GU in my musette

(I guess that's why I'm the rider I am)

Look at my little team though. Team Garmin-Cervelo must of read my words because they were spot on. TTT winners, Tyler takes his first win, and as of right now, I think they are still top team. I didn't see the yellow jersey for 4 days though, yay Thor. Time will tell how they'll do 1 or 2 weeks from now.

New Prediction: Ryder will take over the business end once they get into the mountains.

Summer Reading and Tour Picks

Tour starts in one day. I figure you watch the tour for a few hours, then what are you going to do for the rest of the day? Read, at least until the recap show at 9PM. My first pick is Bill Strickland's Tour de Lance. Not just for Lance Lovers, Bill was like a barnacle following him during his comeback TDF, lots of insight. Krabbe's- The Rider, you have to read it at least once a year. And Finally Vive la Tour- all sorts of facts to make you sound like a real smarty pants at your LBS discussing the days tour results.

And now my tour picks, I know it doesn't matter to a lot of you what I pick, but I would like to look back 23 days from now and either stand here looking smug or feel like a complete moron when none of them come true. Anything can happen- injuries, crashes, breakaways, or surprise bus searches. The mags featured above are my official tools of research, plus Internet sites such as Cyclingnews and Velonews.

I enjoy Cycle sport's little symbols

My favorite fact about Contador (last line)

And now my picks for the podium:

1. Andy Schleck

2.Wiggo

3.Contador

Reasoning: The course looks like Frank should be able to protect and help Andy. Remember last year? AC was not on his top form,(which would explain why he might of needed his booster transfusion) and that was without doing the Giro and Frank not being there to help Andy. Contador is beat up, mentally and physically. He knows he's not wanted in the peloton, the Giro wrecked his legs, and the French public are going to reek havoc on him everywhere he goes. He can say all he wants about feeding off the negative vibes but I believe he's at his breaking point. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt putting him in 3rd. Wiggins is strong and confident after his win at the Dauphiné, if he can stay anywhere near their wheels he's got it in the bag.

And now for the rest of my TOP TEN in no particular order:

Cadel Evans

Frank Schleck

Robert Gesink

Sammy Sanchez

Tony Martin

Chris Horner

Ryder Hesjedal

Wishful Thinking:

Nicolas Roche

Vino

Levi

Tommy Dannielson

Christian Vande Velde
Ivan Basso

Other Notable Happenings:

-Tyler Farrar will win his first TDF sprint, early on before Cav gets his legs.

-A French rider will be in 75% of the breakaways.

-A Spanish rider will be in be in 90% of them.

-Cavendish will will get pissed, cry, and showboat across the finish line crossing at least once. He will also not win the Green Jersey, quite possibly Tyler? Going out on a limb there.

-It will slip out that Thor Hushvod is moving to Europcar next year, you heard it here first.

-Garmin Cervelo will win TTT and take Top Team. Yep, they're still my favorite.

Thor Finally Pops It

Thor did it! He won a stage/race wearing his stripes. I can finally sleep soundly tonight.

I like this preview for the TDF because it makes me feel like I'm flying.

Thank You Signor Zomegnan

I know where you can shove your little Pistolero A.C.

Thank you Signor Zomegnan for bringing the world such a fucked up Giro. I understand you want to make it exciting and that you had to please all the bureaucrats in Italy because of the 150 year anniversary, but good lord, pull your head out of your ass. There is a reason why most of the big names didn't show up to your dog and pony show. With a tour like yours they're lucky if they can even be on form to make it to the Vuelta. And by the way, last years Vuelta blew the Giro away. Why do you ask?- It was challenging but not freak show challenging. Yes it was hot in the begining, but it was not the frickin Bataan Death March. It had a good list of riders, it had sprint stages, what a concept, and the race for first place was kept close enough to be interesting. It's not the 1920's for crap's sake. So, because of these factors it was a great 3 weeks of racing which welcomed the viewers in and kept them interested. But you know what made it such a great race? NO CUNTADOR! Yes I'm going to spell it like that for the rest of my life. Or until the bastard retires, what am I saying, I'll always call him that.

Why did Cuntador have such a big lead? No one was there to challenge him. Nibali wasn't on form and Scarponi would have to have the tour of his life to even have a chance against him. I also mentioned in past posts that it's a pussy move to give a win to someone. It's like Cuntador is the Lord of Cycling, he blesses lesser riders with stage wins. Okay, I've calmed down. If Christian Prudhomme had any sense he would find a way to prohibit Cuntador from racing in the Tour. Save your ass now Prudhomme. If not maybe he could hire the Cinzano team from Breaking Away to join little Al on a training ride. "Whoops! my frame pump slipped out of my hands, darn gel." I don't want him dead by any means, just something that'll give him a little vacation, at least until September.

Maybe I'm just turning French in my old age. I enjoy seeing people suffer. I like seeing the under-dog come up for a win once in awhile. Why do you think the French public welcomed Lance back in 2009? He sucked, that's why, he was human. We all suffer. Unfortunately Cuntador has now put himself in Lances pre-comeback shoes. He can keep telling himself that people love him and support him but that's what crazy people tell themselves before they start hanging 9x12 foot tall self portraits of themselves over their bed. Domination does nothing for the human spirit, if anything it brings it down. I believe the best stage of the Giro was when Kiryienka won for Movistar in stage 20. It was the one stage I actually watched without fast forwarding. I finally got some feeling back in my heart when I watched him cross the finish line and point skyward in honor of Javier Tondo. Thank you for lasting this long. I promise to calm down by the next post.