Monday, May 30, 2011

Thank You Signor Zomegnan

I know where you can shove your little Pistolero A.C.

Thank you Signor Zomegnan for bringing the world such a fucked up Giro. I understand you want to make it exciting and that you had to please all the bureaucrats in Italy because of the 150 year anniversary, but good lord, pull your head out of your ass. There is a reason why most of the big names didn't show up to your dog and pony show. With a tour like yours they're lucky if they can even be on form to make it to the Vuelta. And by the way, last years Vuelta blew the Giro away. Why do you ask?- It was challenging but not freak show challenging. Yes it was hot in the begining, but it was not the frickin Bataan Death March. It had a good list of riders, it had sprint stages, what a concept, and the race for first place was kept close enough to be interesting. It's not the 1920's for crap's sake. So, because of these factors it was a great 3 weeks of racing which welcomed the viewers in and kept them interested. But you know what made it such a great race? NO CUNTADOR! Yes I'm going to spell it like that for the rest of my life. Or until the bastard retires, what am I saying, I'll always call him that.

Why did Cuntador have such a big lead? No one was there to challenge him. Nibali wasn't on form and Scarponi would have to have the tour of his life to even have a chance against him. I also mentioned in past posts that it's a pussy move to give a win to someone. It's like Cuntador is the Lord of Cycling, he blesses lesser riders with stage wins. Okay, I've calmed down. If Christian Prudhomme had any sense he would find a way to prohibit Cuntador from racing in the Tour. Save your ass now Prudhomme. If not maybe he could hire the Cinzano team from Breaking Away to join little Al on a training ride. "Whoops! my frame pump slipped out of my hands, darn gel." I don't want him dead by any means, just something that'll give him a little vacation, at least until September.

Maybe I'm just turning French in my old age. I enjoy seeing people suffer. I like seeing the under-dog come up for a win once in awhile. Why do you think the French public welcomed Lance back in 2009? He sucked, that's why, he was human. We all suffer. Unfortunately Cuntador has now put himself in Lances pre-comeback shoes. He can keep telling himself that people love him and support him but that's what crazy people tell themselves before they start hanging 9x12 foot tall self portraits of themselves over their bed. Domination does nothing for the human spirit, if anything it brings it down. I believe the best stage of the Giro was when Kiryienka won for Movistar in stage 20. It was the one stage I actually watched without fast forwarding. I finally got some feeling back in my heart when I watched him cross the finish line and point skyward in honor of Javier Tondo. Thank you for lasting this long. I promise to calm down by the next post.

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