Wednesday, August 24, 2011

On Behalf of all Americans, I'm Sorry We're Idiots

What exactly are they smuggling in their chamois?
I think they might be sick.

Luckily this blog isn't widely viewed or I'd be labeled a heretic or person of interest by Homeland Security. Alas, I am sorry for our behavior when it comes to professional cycling. We are idiots and I feel our acts of stupidity are disrespectful to the sport of cycling.

For one brief second I really liked Contador.

While watching The US Pro race in Colorado I wondered what turns semi-normal people into complete and total morons. Did they plan out their costumes weeks in advance or did they grab it out of the garage on their way to the race just to get their 6 seconds of fame. All I know is I cringed more than a few times and covered my head with a pillow while watching random nut jobs run amok on Independence Pass. I have an angry/ornery streak when it comes to stupid people and if I were a professional rider I would have a hard time holding myself back. I would probably have a hard time keeping a team too, so good job guys for keeping your composure. And to everyone outside of the US I am sincerely sorry.

In case you missed the second stage I made a list of all the Jack-Holes I saw on Independence Pass, here ya go:

-Tinky Winky of Teletubby fame
-bear wearing Detroit Red Wings Jersey
-bibshort man
-boxer brief man
-foam hot dog
-guy in scrubs and shower cap
-bumble bee
-Cardinal in a fancy hat
-a tranny
-the Easter Bunny
-Grand Puba from the Flintstones
-Girl in a fancy polka dot dress
So there ya go, they make no sense, and if you were in one big room with them you'd think you were trippin.

The best part of the stage was of course Big George winning. I didn't think he was going to make it and I let him know it too. "NO GEORGE! NO! DON'T GO! NOOOO, TOO SOOON! oh, oh, OH GO GEORGE GOOOO! Needless to say it was a good finish and the scenery for the stage wasn't too bad either, although I wish they would of had more air time of them on the gravel road. I guess the natural beauty makes up for the ridiculousness.


  1. Take a closer look, those were all college age kids. Plus, the French started it.

    I do hail from CO and watched the first 3 stages. no one crazy around me on indy pass, but I did run along the pelaton with a big American flag hootin and hollerin.

  2. Yes the French started it but when you watch the recent CO race and T.O.Cali. and watch people running along in sumo costumes steps away from falling in the path of the riders I get pissed. They're complete morons who are only doing it for their 5 seconds of TV time.
    Give the riders their credit, they're working their asses off for our entertainment. Cheer them on, take their picture, the day belongs to them not you. Let them ride without having to deal with added road hazards.
    By the way it's pelOton not pelAton.