Saturday, August 21, 2010

Silly Karma, Can't Catch Me!

It all comes around to bite you in the behind. I have been having really bad luck this whole summer. I thought all my poopy luck was coming from me mentioning at some time that I keep my teeth healthy, I never get colds, and I never get flats. But under more careful consideration I blame this all on the fact that I can't keep my mouth shout when Mark Cavendish is on TV, whether he's talking or riding. Yes, I admit I used to make fun of his nasty English teeth before he had them transplanted by that South American voodoo dentist. I basically had nothing nice to say about him, because he doesn't have anything nice to say either. Well I've been keeping my mouth shut since the Tour, and I will continue to keep it shut through the Vuelta and Worlds. Here are my reasons, take a gander:

1. I make fun of Marky poo's nasty teeth, I get an abscessed tooth that is so bad my dentist lets out an s-bomb. I'm out for 3-4 weeks.

2. I believe Mark's bronchial problems were a lame excuse for his lackluster start to the season. I end up getting a seriously mucousy cold and cough. I'm out for 2 weeks.

3. Mark veers into Haussler in the Tour de Suisse and takes out the sprinters field and again he crashes in Tour de France during the final run in. Also, during the Tour, he sends his henchman Henshaw to take out Julian Dean with a headbutt at 30 miles an hour. I rant about it to my poor husband for days after each incident. Now, the similarities are kind of far fetched because I haven't crashed, but I have gotten two flats within a span of two days. My rides got cut short for a total of a total of 45 minutes.
Coincidence? Nope. I believe that the South American voodoo dentist gave him the power to cause harm to those who speak evil of him. A kind of twisted Karma that will cause the evil-speaker to endure hardships or embarrassments*. I lost a total of 6 weeks and 45 minutes of riding this summer due to this Karma crap. So I am reverting back to my 90's mountain biking days and creating a piece of Ju Ju for my bike. I'm thinking about one of those little rubber finger puppets, they're not too heavy right? I'll just stick one of those puppies right up front in my cables so he can form a sort of deflector shield. Suck on that Cavendish Karma.

*Due to flatting, cutting my ride short, and having 60psi tire pressure (thanks airstick) I had to take a shortcut through a construction zone complete with rivers of mud across the whole street. Equal that with my white Castelli shorts and 10 or so construction workers, you now have embarrassment.

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