Sunday, December 19, 2010

Rain Can Suck It

I live in Southern California for a reason, it doesn't snow, it doesn't rain for more than 2 days in a row, and it has the best Mexican food this side of the border. So when I see a the 7 day weather forecast show dark little storm clouds across the week I start to fidget. I immediately start ringing my hands, and stare out into space revising training plans in my head.
I woke up happy as a little clam this morning, excited for my 1 hour training session. 7 AM, I was ready. I made it to the gym bright and early, I picked a random stationary bike, adjusted it as best as I could, and pulled it into a corner, out of the way. I thought I was going to be able to handle riding in-doors for a week. What's the big deal, half the country has to do this, quit whining ya puusaay. That's how I talk to myself in case your wondering.
I Hopped on and immediately felt like I was being punished. My bike fit was fine, nothing was being pinched or prodded. It was the psychological aspect of it. Where the Hell was I going on this hobbled steed of mine? Why is there no wind blowing the sweat off my brow? Where are the drops on this thing? Now I've ridden these things before but only for warm-ups before weight training, I think 5 minutes is my limit. After that it becomes a mental irritant, (like cheap embrocation for the brain) and all Hell breaks loose. And don't let me forget to tell you my ipod Shuffle crapped out 10 minutes into my ride. I was thinking to myself how could I make this better? A big ass fan would be the first step. My own bike and some rollers, or at least a trainer (I'm too cheap to buy one, and I wasted my Christmas wishes on Rapha garb). Last thing would be a television showing any type of cycling event, documentary, or movie, I'd even watch Quiksilver.

Now, I'm writing today's blog not only to comment on the miserable weather but I also wanted to talk about my observation while in the cardio room. You see for 50 minutes I observed a type of human that just blows my mind. I couldn't figure them out. I'm talking about the spin class people, we'll call them SCP for short. It was like they were some bass-akwards gym clique that like to punish themselves by sweating profusely and wearing non-padded shorts while riding a bike they didn't care to adjust properly. Time to break out the Vagisil ladies!
I was there at 7AM, their class doesn't start until 8:30. They were already coming in looking for their specially numbered pseudo bikes, complaining when someone already took theirs. One lady swore she was going to come in the night before and get her bike and area set up. I also overheard a group of chickens, oh sorry, ladies, complaining that the reason it was so crowded was because the real cyclists were coming to class due to the rain and taking up the good bikes. Trust me ladies, real cyclist aren't going to go to the gym an hour before a spin class just to pick out your special bike. I came to the conclusion that they are there for a variety of reasons:

1. they are masochists
2. they never learned to ride a bike
3. this is the only social group that would except them
4. they really enjoy listening to crappy 90's music while some little bitch yells
at them
5. their neon yellow wind jacket is at the cleaners
6. they got 70% off spinning shoes at Nashbar
7. real bikes are the Devil

Needless to say I managed to stay upright and awake for 50 minutes, and also not drown in my own sweat, Yea me! Now, I hate to classify or judge people (my husband is still laughing at that one), but all I can really say about them is best left to Ogre.

No comments:

Post a Comment