I am slowly getting to know my IPhone. I just discovered it had a voice memo thingy, which made my day because the creativity synapses can really fire while riding but once I stop pedaling forget it. Literally, I forget everything. All interesting, funny, witty thoughts leave the cranium once I remove my booty from the saddle. So thanks to this little device I can now record all those ideas, random words, lines from movies and TV shows, songs, inner monologues while on the bike.
Here's a selection of thoughts/ideas that came and went through my head on a 1.5 hour ride, which was after an hour long gym session, so I was feeling a bit bonkish. Here you go:
- Whoa Mama!
- Whose idea was this?
- Wonky snot
- I got a big ass (Objects in shadows appear larger than they actually are, I hope!)
- I'm f***ing starving! I want some french toast!
- Why did I do quads? Oh yeah Selene Yeager told me to. (Maybe it was Chris Carmichael?)
- Do other people have this much snot?
- Cheek to cheek (Sang while standing up + climbing)
I almost ran over a quail.
Instead of flying out of harms way he chose to speed walk off the road. This scenario scared me and made me think what I would do if I killed our state bird or any other living creature for that matter. Would I bury them on the spot, digging a shallow grave with my mini pump, leaving a roadside marker letting others know of the tragedy that had taken place there, leaving flowers each time I ride by, or would I just leave the carcass there for the coyotes. I could hear Louise from Bob's Burgers yelling "MURDERER!" in the back of my mind (just like in the video). This led me to reminiscing about past episodes of Bob's Burger's for 5 minutes until I became transfixed on something shiny off in the distance.
I wondered why an internal speaker system hadn't been invented for handlebars.
You know something light weight you could hook up to a little Ipod Shuffle. Then I thought how fun it would be if your jam came on then you could stop by the side of the road and just dance. Sadly my dance skills are a cross between Rodney's (above) and Biggie Shorty (from Pooty Tang). Sad for me, entertaining for anyone in range of sight. This thought lasted until I saw an avocado tree. I love avocados but not as much as pineapples.
There you go, sometimes my thoughts are more on the intelligent side, apparently not so this ride, so don't judge, like I said before I was a bit bonkish.