Autumn Riding Tribulations

I'm ready for Autumn riding. I am ready for brisk mornings, numb ears, and sweatless upper lips. I just can't get motivated to go out at 7:30 AM and fight soccer moms taking their evil offspring to school (have them ride their bikes or walk 'em to school), hospital workers running late for their shifts, or high school girls driving, texting about how short their shorts are today. You see I am a morning person and this time of year sucks. I wake up at 5:30 AM and I feel like one those old toy cars you wind up, just raring to go and sprung way too tight. I'm ready to go but when I look outside it's Africa dark. That's good for some people but I am blind as a bat when the sun goes down. And I've tried lights too. Two things happen, I get distracted by the lights and it becomes a scene from Goonies. Sloth discovers how to use a flashlight and starts swatting at the beam laughing uncontrolably. Second problem are the little moths that congregate around my Knogs. They must be able to fly pretty fast or else I'm not as fast as I think I am. Again, I get distracted and start giggling like Sloth. That's fine until they come near my face and then I turn into a spazz, swatting and screaming. So no early morning rides for me. I go out at lunch but it feels like I'm playing hooky. I can feel guilty like a superhero, it's a gift.

Poppys Sloth Impression

My only choices are to get over the fact that I am a 140 pound vehicle (bike included, thank you) and I belong on the road just as much as the HMB soccer mom's in their XXL Ford Flex's. Or I can get over the fact that moth's like my headlights and I should embrace those stocky, fuzzy, wannabe butterflies and let them hitch a ride on my slipstream. All the while I hit every pothole my fine city has to offer because my lights only cover one foot in front of my wheel and I have a slow reaction time to things like that. I could also go out at lunch and just live with the guilt, maybe I should start a cyclist confession booth, I bet others feel like me. Probably not. I will figure it out though, it will probably be winter by the time I do, then I can complain about how it's too cold.

Take 30 of These and Call Me in the Morning

I had my 36th birthday yesterday, yeah I'm not afraid to say it out loud. Not like those HMB's who stay 29 for 40 years. Although I do think it's funny that I go to the gym and throw my back out on that blessed day. You see, I was going to go for a ride after I finished doing chest and abs but it was drizzly and the roads were probably going to be slick. Wah, wah, wah. I should of gone riding. I ended up staying at the gym and doing the rowing machine, yeah the one in the corner only old ladies use. Well I guess I'm one of them now. I was going to do an easy 20 minutes, but then I remember reading Selene Yeager's (Bicycling Mag) article about how interval training will melt your fat like butter.

My row started off fine, I warmed up, did one minute fast, slowed down for two, and then I started my next fast minute. It lasted 20 seconds. I must of lost my form because I leaned back and felt a pop and then a pain shock, like I got electrocuted. I couldn't help but laugh because it hurt so much, so there I was, crazy old lady laughing away on the rowing machine. I managed to get up and hobble myself out of the gym looking like some sort of undiscovered Gymnasium Neanderthal.

The pain got worse throughout the day and my birthday turned into a suffer-fest. I worked on t-shirt designs but nothing came out like I wanted. Had dinner which consisted of a quesadilla, tortilla chips, and a chocolate covered biscuit. Happy Birthday to me, after that I went to the park to play with the Friends of the Friendless band. And then off to bed with my knees elevated and a stack of Ritz on my chest watching "Did You Hear About the Morgan's?" That lame ass movie with Sarah J. Parker and Hugh Grant who is unfortunately looking his age. I then tossed and turned gingerly all night trying to find the right position which led to a whopping 4 hours of sleep.

Next morning and my back is a little better. I self medicated this morning and took thirty of these after my protein smoothie. Hope to get back on the saddle Friday.